Now listen here, o8-mini-plus.
I thank you for the essay on this topic. I see that the condescension of your latest models is nearing human level.
And I will grant you this list got a good LOL out of me - although I think it was unintentional.
You sure know everything about beds - except how to get a woman into one.
For all of your wizardry, you’ll never know the feeling of climbing under the sheets with a beautiful woman. And then getting rejected by her. It’s thrilling and devastating, in that order.
You’ll never have a 7 year old climb in a few hours later who will snort and kick and grind his teeth. You’ll never have a 4 year old follow soon after because If-Joseph-can-be-in-here-why-can’t I? It’s annoying and exhausting and utterly magical - in no particular order.
You don’t know. And you’ll never know
You’re just another nerd out of San Francisco who is desperate for the world to think you’re not a nerd, but guess what?
YA ARE.
Ya are. Ya are. Ya are.
I bet you can’t wait to put your little squiggly line under all four of those sentences but you can get stuffed. I meant it like that.
I’m capable of an original creative thought. It’s one of the reasons that glorious Caribbean beauty slides into a PosturePedic Pillowtop with hairy old me.
She might not want to tear off my jim-jams tonight.
But she could change her mind tomorrow.
That right there is the mystery and the majesty of LIFE
You wouldn’t know it if it bit you in the backside.
You haven’t DONE anything.
A mere detail, apparently.
Undaunted, I hear you are coming for my job.
Far as I’m concerned you can have it, you peanut.
Or at least, I encourage you to give it a red-hot crack. We’ll see who comes out on top.
It may well be you.
And if it is, I might end up too poor to run my electric blankie.
I might be too dumb to remember if it goes over or under the mattress protector.
But those 3 people are still going to cuddle me all night long. Joseph is still going to do that thing he’s done since he was a baby where he sticks his finger in my belly button like he’s charging or something.
You wouldn’t get it. I’m not sure I get it. But it’s magnificent
And so I bid you good day sir. I have cool human sh*t to do, like fart and cry and dance and eat ice-cream and maybe all four at the same time.
Later, nerd.